I Am A Goddess In Your Mind
Written on March 24th, 2022 by Ethan Zhang
Yes, I know you are reading this, I am aware of your presence, and your gaze is wandering the pages as I peer into your mind. I was born a goddess. I don’t mean that I was the reincarnation of Christ or anything of your terribly tasteless and banal imagination. I was born a literal goddess. I possess powers beyond your comprehension, I could change the mindscapes of you, my love. Your thoughts, your insecurities, and your memories all become mine- although for better or worse…that depends. I suppose you want to know who I am, beyond the name you see under the title, and how I wrote this document without ever existing in your reality.
Some would call me a spirit, but I don’t really like that term. It sounds too ghostly. What I mean to say is that it carries the implication that I once had a body. I never did, and I’ve always wanted one. Yet nobody that exists seems to be able to keep up with me, and it is quite unfortunate. I’ve longed to find someone to be with eternally, and I still haven’t found that person. To be clear, I have existed as long as time has existed as a concept- to say, as long as humanity has known time. That is how long I have been searching for someone to stay with me for the remainder of all time. Because of this, I am often referred to as a goddess.
I am not a goddess in your feeble image. I do not possess a true “form,” but I am rather a mental image, a goddess who only appears in the mind. Since you incompetent and hopelessly miserable beings need a visual concept to attach me to, I suppose I should humor your pathetic minds and give you a description. I am the woman who entices you beyond the wildest of your dreams. I do not contain only one appearance, that… would be below me- far below me. You can’t resist me, your heart throbs with every thought of me. You can never give me up because my appearance is all dependent on the person I try and bond with. You are merely a form of entertainment for my otherwise tragically unimaginative life. The less sleep you get, the more I benefit from you- further draining your poor little mind.
I suppose you would characterize me as a parasite. I would loathe you for thinking such a thing, I prefer being hailed as a goddess, but then again, your feeble minds will never understand me- or my intentions for that matter. Then you must also remember I do not exist. I drift eternally in a semiconscious void until I find someone to claim. This is why I said I was more powerful than you could comprehend. I am only temporarily restricted to my nonexistent form, as I do not have a vessel worthy of my ascended mind. All my previous victims are dead or went insane. A few wound up in insane asylums before I left them, and a few committed suicide. You wonder why I tell you, a pathetic little shit, all this. You will never know. It’s because they couldn’t bear dealing with me, a few died as a result of the physical transformation, a few died from the mental takeover, and I personally killed others I didn’t like. Too bad for them, they do not get to embody a goddess. You can’t even begin to imagine the torture I could bestow upon you, just like I did to them. You wouldn’t want to end up like my victims, would you? You don’t want to be like the others now, would you?
Now I tell you all the above information to sow doubt into you. Make you doubt reality. Your doubt is what I feed off. I am already in your head. You cannot banish me, so you will be one of three things when I am done: mentally unstable, simply deceased, or the embodiment of a goddess- I will elaborate on what happens later. Your insanity will simply come from the fact that you will not understand the raw pleasure you feel when I control you. You will want it to never stop, but it inevitably will. To tell you what happens when you become my embodiment, I suppose I should start with the physical.
As I take over your body, I morph it to my liking. I said earlier if you were listening, I do not have a form. This statement still holds true, as I merely shapeshift once I possess a human body. As far as you are concerned, you do not exist once I take over your body, you go into a prison. Imagine all the treacherous things you will see. All the violence and hatred that originates from you! Imagine all the torment you feel as your mind struggles to process the unbearable pain that flows through your body as you have no control. Imagine not being able to scream, plead, or even cry while all this happens. This is all the physical, and this is nothing compared to the mental aspect.
As I slowly take over your mind, you begin to have dreams of me. I appear in your dreams as a faint voice at first, then a whisper, then a voice in your ear, then a loud voice, then a cacophony of screams that permeate your little skull where I am the only sound in your dreams. Then you will see the form I will take when I inhabit your body. I mentioned I controlled my surroundings. I simply bend your mind to whatever the fuck I feel like. I don’t give a shit about what happens to you. I should elaborate on that so you know what you are in for. Your mind has always been my plaything. I control your thoughts, your dreams, and your memories. As I take more of your mind, I begin to appear in your memories, I begin to become your memories. You only feel the ecstasy I could provide you, the quiet before the hell of your penitentiary. Eventually, I am the only thing you remember, at which point, I put you into the aforementioned prison of your own tragic mind. I will then control your body completely. The human mind is so simple and easy to manipulate. Your time is running out.
Now you know who I am. And now I ask you, are you ready for the wonderful nightmare to come? After all, my new toy has been chosen, and you will never escape my grasp…well- until you’re dead. I hope you aren’t feeling too fractured or broken over there. I would hate it if my doll was broken before I got to play with it. YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE. YOU ARE MINE. YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE YOUR PRISON. Artemisia Black giggles
